A642.5.3.RB - Making Smart Groups

A521.4.3.RB - Subtleties of Communication and Hidden Messages

by

Terrance Le Shore

A ePortfolio Blogger Assignment

Submitted to the Worldwide Campus

In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements

of Course MSLD 521, Leadership Communication

Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University
November 2015

A521.4.3.RB - Subtleties of Communication and Hidden Messages

         Constructive communication preserves a positive relationship between communicators while addressing problems. (McKay,Ph.D., Davis, Ph.D., & Fanning, 2009) When coaching or counseling an employee who has a negative attitude, a personality conflict with a coworker or hasn't performed up to expectations, the risk of putting the employee on the defensive is very high.  In response, many managers decide not to bother worrying about feelings, and just take a "hard-nosed" approach.  Many other managers avoid confronting problems entirely.  A better approach to these situations is addressing the issue while using the attributes of constructive communication. 
        Constructive communication makes managers more effective at coaching and counseling by reducing defensiveness.  Subordinates often react defensively if they feel they are being punished or threatened by the communication.  When subordinates react defensively, they devote attention to identifying counterarguments rather than listening.  Therefore, communication is more productive when it is done constructively.

        Congruent, not in-congruent.  Congruent communication conveys what the speaker is thinking and feeling.  There are definitely situations where discretion is a more appropriate choice than full disclosure of what we think and feel.  However, in most communication situations, we communicate more effectively when we're candid.  If we aren't honest, listeners won't trust what we say.  A common example of in-congruent communication is saying that "it's no big deal" or "I don't mind" when you are in fact discussing an important issue.  We're constructive when we use congruent communication because we're giving the other party the truth rather than misleading them. 

       Constructive communication is very helpful when coaching or counseling a member of your staff.  A poorly handled discussion of a staff member's performance can easily lead to defensiveness and even outright rejection of any suggestions for improvement.

       Sometimes, our verbal messages are not congruent with our nonverbal messages.  At times, our paralanguage belies our verbal content. Sometimes, we use hidden messages to "cover our tracks" and deliver positive messages about our intentions. (McKay,Ph.D., Davis, Ph.D., & Fanning, 2009)

        There are six main characteristics of effective language. Effective language is concrete and specific, not vague and abstract; concise, not verbose; familiar, not obscure; precise and clear, not inaccurate or ambiguous; constructive, not destructive; and appropriately formal.

        The six elements of paralanguage are pitch, residence, articulation, tempo, volume, and rhythm. We must think about how are voice communicates things like trust, intelligence, and care. We want to make sure that our voice reflects what we want to say, and that it is congruent with the words we speak. We also want to make sure that our social kinetics, or by communication, align with what we are saying. (McKay,Ph.D., Davis, Ph.D., & Fanning, 2009) There are cultural differences in body language, just as much as there are in verbal communication. This leaves room for miscommunication. Is important to communicating all backgrounds so that people may understand why we communicate the way we do and to lessen miscommunication.

        They say a picture paints a thousand words – and the same can certainly be said for gestures. We all subconsciously give away hints as to our true feelings, through our movements and gestures.

        I reflect back on my year of work as a contract laborer in aviation. I think back now and I realize this was my first real encounter the six elements of paralanguage (pitch, residence, articulation, tempo, volume, and rhythm), hidden messages, and hidden agendas within communication.

        As a contract mechanic you had to be able to read the underline hidden messages, and hidden agendas within communication. Contract companies and the companies that they were hiring for would say and promise anything to get you to travel to them to work on their planes. From travel pay, completion bonuses, to length of employment, underline hidden messages, and hidden agendas within their communication would cause a mechanic to reconsider ever working for those type of companies again.

         The six elements of paralanguage (pitch, residence, articulation, tempo, volume, and rhythm) are also some of the reason contract mechanics and workers in general are un-trusting of management.

         I’ve been in situations where we know work at a facility is coming to an end, but to keep workers from leaving and looking for other work management would send a crew lead out to “calm and settle” rumors. But they send out someone with little or no experience to try and explain the situation to seasoned mechanic. Reading their paralanguage tells more of the story then their actual words.

References

McKay,Ph.D., M., Davis, Ph.D., M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages The Communication Skills Book. Oakland : Raincoat Books.