By
Terrance Le Shore
A ePortfolio Blogger AssignmentSubmitted to the Worldwide CampusIn Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements
of Course MSLD 521, Leadership
Communication
Embry-Riddle Aeronautical
University
November 2015
November 2015
A521.3.4.RB – Personal
Reflection
Self-awareness.
Simple concept. Challenging accomplishment. As much as it seems like we should
all be able to assess our actions, an astonishing number of people go through
life and relationships without any idea how their own behavior can impact their
decisions, relationships and ultimately, their happiness.
Personal
Reflection is easy for me. I relive or think about my past everyday. I try to
make up for and not repeat some of the things I did or witness. Personal
Reflection is easy for me to think about, but hard to share.
I grew up on the
Gulf Coast along I-10 interstate that stretches from Florida to California. I
the late 80s to early 90s we referred to drug traffickers, mules, and runners
as I-10 Haulers. This is the environment in “played” in. I looked at the nice
clothes, cars, and girls that the old dudes had and I wanted. But I wanted
nicer clothes, cars, and girls. I was going to it better then and one on the
block. So throughout high school I tried to be a “BG” (baby gangster). Thinking
there were no rule and having little to no respect for authority.
In my senior year
of high school I thought I was the man on my block. My “rep” was some strong
that everything thing that went on in the trap had to come from me. I had the
old head even show me respect. But this was the changing point for me.
I started dealing
with major figures in the game. I was completely out of my league, but no one
could make me see it. There were a lot of people eating off me, a lot of people
that depended on me, and a lot of people taking advantage of me. But, I was too
stubborn to listen to anyone.
But even in my widish ways I was respectful of my elders. And that was because of a strong
parental and coaches up bringing. The winter of my senior was a deadly year on
the streets. I had never been robbed, stabbed, shot at, or snitch on. I thought
I was just that tuff and fearsome that no one would dare try me. this was the
first time someone help me, some looked out for me, and someone had the love
for me to tell me I was wrong.
My older brother
was the toughest, baddest, most feared bull on the block. He was whom I was imitating.
He had move to Texas running away from some things that he did at home. But he
returned sometime later to face his problems. As he was waiting on the outcome
of his situation, people started telling him about me and how I had pick up
where he left off. But little did I know they were also informing him of the
trouble I was facing. I had made a name for myself and that is not always good
on the streets.
I had become a
target, but not by other BGs. The robbing crew or the jump out boys had
targeted me. The robbing crew or the jump out boys are the police. In my city
they were underpaid, disrespected, and just as lawless or even more so then
those of us they locked up.
My brother who was
already in trouble and told that he could not be caught in certain areas, risk
more of his freedom to come find me. he was warned that I was going to be
targeted that night. But he knew I wouldn’t listen so tricked me into meeting
him and some girls on the opposite side of town. When I reached him he was
alone. He talked to me, this was the longest conversation we had ever had. He
was tell me things that happened to him, things I knew and things I didn’t.
Things that to any normal rational person would have take to heart, but not me.
He was dumb soft those things would never happen to me.
I left, I didn’t
need this, I didn’t need your advice. I turned my back on him and started to
walk away. That's one thing that you don’t do in the trap is turn your back to
another man, that is sign of disrespect. And with that sign he did what he felt
he had to do. And that was to kick my ass for the next 5 minutes. And after
that ass kicking he put me in my own car and drove me by the spot. As we drove
by it was everything he said it was and worst. Some that were there that day
are no longer with us.
My brother showed
me 2 things that have stayed with me. The first is courage and what it means to
a man. He could had easily kept running away from the situation that he caused.
But he didn't, he came back even when others were telling him he was a fool for
doing so. Second he showed me what being loyal meant. Not because I was his
little brother or that I was following in his footsteps, but because I was a
friend that need guidance. He didn’t want to see anyone else from our block go
down the same path as him. He was willing to sacrifice his future to make sure
I had one.
“It is necessary ... for a man to go away by himself ... to sit
on a rock ... and ask, 'Who am I, where have I been, and where am I going?”
References
McKay,
Ph.D., M., Davis, Ph.D., M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages The
Communication Skills Book. Oakland, California: New Harbinger
Publications.
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